Twilight 7. NIGHTMARE

7. NIGHTMAREI told Charlie I had a crowd of homework to do, and that I didnt deprivation anything to eat. thither was a basketb alone game on that he was emotional ab turn up, though of course I had no idea what was special ab come forth it, so he wasnt conscious(predic take in) of anything unusual in my face or feel.Once in my room, I locked the door. I dug with my desk until I found my old wellphones, and I plugged them into my little CD r come forthineer. I peck ated up a CD that Phil had given to me for Christmas. It was one of his favorite bands, exactly they used a little in the likes of objet dartner oft epochs bass and shrieking for my tastes. I popped it into value and lay down on my bed. I put on the clearancephones, hit Play, and glum up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, solely the inflammation even so intruded, so I added a pillow over the top half of my face.I concentrated truly guardedly on the music, trying to understand the lyric s, to unravel the complicated drum patterns. By the third time Id listened through the CD, I knew entirely the words to the choruses, at least(prenominal). I was surprised to find that I re solelyy did analogous the band afterwards every, once I got past the blaring noise. Id fill to thank Phil once more than.And it worked. The bust beats made it impossible for me to think which was the whole purpose of the exercise. I listened to the CD again and again, until I was singing a big with all the songs, until, finally, I fell asleep.I subject my eyes to a k straight offn puzzle. Aware in both(prenominal) corner of my consciousness that I was dreaming, I recognized the green light of the fo balance. I could larn the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, Id be able to canvass the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but therefore Jacob Black was there, tugging on my go, comforting me anchor toward the blackest embar k on of the forest.Jacob? Whats incorrect? I asked. His face was f secureened as he yanked with all his strength against my resistance I didnt want to go into the one-sided.Run, Bella, you relieve oneself to run he whispered, terrified.This dash, Bella I recognized microphones voice calling out of the sick heart of the trees, but I couldnt see him.Why? I asked, still pulling against Jacobs grasp, desperate now to find the sun. just now Jacob let go of my hand and yelped, suddenly shaking, falling to the dismal forest floor. He twitched on the ground as I watched in horror.Jacob I screamed. but he was gone. In his place was a large red-brown wolf with black eyes. The wolf faced out-of-door from me, pointing toward the shore, the hair on the backwards of his shoulders bristling, low growls issuing from between his exposed fangs.Bella, run microphone cried out again from tramp me. except I didnt turn. I was watching a light coming toward me from the b distributively.And then Edward stepped out from the trees, his skin faintly glowing, his eyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to him. The wolf growled at my feet.I took a step forward, toward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth were sharp, pointed.Trust me, he purred.I took a nonher step.The wolf launched himself cross steerings the space between me and the vampire, fangs aiming for the jugular.No I screamed, wrenching upright out of my bed.My sudden movement caused the headphones to pull the CD player off the bedside table, and it clattered to the wooden floor.My light was still on, and I was razz down fully dressed to kill(p) on the bed, with my shoes on. I glanced, disoriented, at the clock on my dresser. It was five-thirty in the morning.I groaned, fell back, and rolling over onto my face, kicking off my boots. I was too uncomfortable to impart anywhere near sleep, though. I rolled back over and unbuttoned my jeans, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried to conf ine horizontal. I could feel the braid in my hair, an uncomfortable ridge along the back of my skull. I turned onto my side and ripped the rubber band out, quickly combing through the plaits with my fingers. I pulled the pillow back over my eyes.It was all no use, of course. My subconscious had dredged up exactly the images Id been trying so desperately to bar. I was expiration to make up to face them now.I sat up, and my head spun for a minute as the blood flowed downward. eldest things first, I thought to myself, laughing(prenominal) to put it off as long as possible. I grabbed my tail bag.The shower didnt brave out n too soon as long as I hoped it would, though. Even taking the time to blow-dry my hair, I was soon out of things to do in the bathroom. Wrapped in a towel, I crossed back to my room. I couldnt tell if Charlie was still asleep, or if he had al demoy odd. I went to reflection out my window, and the cruiser was gone. Fishing again.I dressed slowly in my most co mfy sweats and then made my bed something I n perpetually did. I couldnt put it off any prolonged. I went to my desk and switched on my old computer.I hated using the Internet here. My modem was sadly outdated, my free service subscript just dialing up took so long that I decided to go work myself a sphere of cereal while I waited.I ate slowly, chewing each bite with care. When I was done, I washed the bowl and spoon, dried them, and put them away. My feet dragged as I climbed the stairs. I went to my CD player first, woof it up off the floor and placing it precisely in the center of the table. I pulled out the headphones, and put them away in the desk drawer. thence I turned the selfsame(prenominal) CD on, turning it down to the point where it was range noise.With a nonher sigh, I turned to my computer. Naturally, the screen was covered in pop-up ads. I sat in my firmly folding chair and began closing all the little windows. Eventually I made it to my favorite count engi ne. I shot down a fewer more(prenominal) pop-ups and then typed in one word.Vampire.It took an infuriatingly long time, of course. When the results came up, there was a lot to sift through everything from movies and TV shows to role-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic companies.Then I found a promising site Vampires A-Z. I waited impatiently for it to load, quickly clicking closed each ad that flashed across the screen. Finally the screen was finished simple white background with black text, academic-looking. cardinal quotes greeted me on the home pageThroughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no auspicate so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such hero-worshipful fascination, as the vampire, who is himself uncomplete ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both(prenominal). Rev. Montague SummersIf there is in this world a well-attested acc ount, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking official reports, affidavits of well- hunch overn people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates the judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires? RousseauThe rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, the Danag, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth proceed that the Danag worked with humans for many years, but the partnership ended one daylight when a woman edit her finger and a Danag sucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much(prenominal) that it drained her body completely of blood.I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything that sounded familiar, let alone plausible. It seemed that most vampire myths centered around pleasing women as demons and children as victims they also seemed like constructs created t o explain away the high mortality rates for unripened children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Many of the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improper burials. on that point wasnt much that sounded like the movies Id seen, and notwithstanding a very few, like the Hebrew Estrie and the Polish Upier, who were even preoccupied with intoxication blood.Only three entries really caught my attention the Romanian Varacolaci, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak Nelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it could massacre an full(a) village in the single minute after mid iniquity, and one other, the Stregoni benefici.About this last there was only one skeleton sentence.Stregoni benefici An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all malign vampires.It was a embossment, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires.Overall, t hough, there was little that coincided with Jacobs stories or my own observations. Id made a little catalogue in my headland as Id read and carefully compared it with each myth. Speed, strength, beauty, pale skin, eyes that shift color and then Jacobs criteria blood drinkers, enemies of the werewolf, frigid-skinned, and immortal. There were very few myths that matched even one factor.And then another problem, one that Id remembered from the small number of scary movies that Id seen and was backed up by todays reading vampires couldnt come out in the daytime, the sun would burn them to a cinder. They slept in coffins all day and came out only at wickedness.Aggravated, I snapped off the computers main power switch, not delay to shut things down properly. Through my irritation, I felt overwhelming embarrassment. It was all so stupid. I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me? I decided that most of the blame belonged on the doorstep of the town of Forks and the entire sodden Olympic Peninsula, for that matter.I had to get out of the house, but there was nowhere I precious to go that didnt involve a three-day drive. I pulled on my boots anyway, unclear where I was headed, and went downstairs. I shrugged into my raincoat without checking the run and stomped out the door.It was overcast, but not raining yet. I ignored my truck and started east on foot, angle across Charlies yard toward the ever-encroaching forest. It didnt take long till I was deep enough for the house and the itinerary to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays.There was a thin ribbon of a reside that led through the forest here, or I wouldnt risk seetheing on my own like this. My sense of direction was hopeless I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks, the yews and the maples. I only vaguely knew the name of the trees around me, and all I knew was due(p) to Charlie pointing them out to me from the cruiser window in earlier days. There were many I didnt know, and others I couldnt be sure about because they were so covered in green parasites.I followed the trail as long as my anger at myself pushed me forward. As that started to ebb, I slowed. A few drops of wet trickled down from the canopy above me, but I couldnt be certain if it was beginning to rain or if it was simply pools left over from yesterday, held high in the leaves above me, slowly dripping their way back to the earth. A recently fallen tree I knew it was recent because it wasnt entirely carpeted in moss rest against the trunk of one of her sisters, creating a sheltered little bench just a few gum elastic feet off the trail. I stepped over the ferns and sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the damp throne and my habit wherever they touch ed, and leaned my hooded head back against the living tree.This was the wrong place to have come. I should have known, but where else was there to go? The forest was deep green and far too much like the scene in last nights dream to allow for peace of mind. Now that there was no longer the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing. The birds were quiet, too, the drops increasing in frequency, so it must be raining above. The ferns stood higher(prenominal) than my head, now that I was seated, and I knew someone could walk by on the path, three feet away, and not see me.Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the absurdities that embarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in this forest for thousands of years, and all the myths and legends of a hundred different lands seemed much more likely in this green haze than they had in my percipient bedroom.I forced myself to focus on the two most vital questions I had to answer, but I did so unwillingly.First, I had to d ecide if it was possible that what Jacob had said about the Cullens could be accredited.Immediately my mind responded with a resounding negative. It was silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous notions. moreover what, then? I asked myself. There was no rational explanation for how I was alive at this moment. I listed again in my head the things Id observed myself the impossible speed and strength, the eye color shifting from black to goldand back again, the barbaric beauty, the pale, frigid skin. And more small things that registered slowly how they never seemed to eat, the disturbing grace with which they moved. And the way besometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences and phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first-century sieveroom. He had skipped class the day wed done blood typing. He hadnt said no to the beach trip till he comprehend where we were going. He seemed to know what everyone around him was thinking except m e. He had told me he was the villain, dangerousCould the Cullens be vampires?Well, they were something. Something impertinent the possibility of rational justification was taking place in front of my incredulous eyes. Whether it be Jacobs cold ones or my own superhero theory, Edward Cullen was not human. He was something more.So then maybe. That would have to be my answer for now.And then the most important question of all. What was I going to do if it was true?If Edward was a vampire I could hardly make myself think the words then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. I couldnt even believe myself anyone I told would have me committed.Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. To usurp there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell him to leave me alone and mean it this time.I was gripped in a sudden woe of despair as I considered that alternative. My mind rejected the pain, quickly skipping on to the next option.I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something sinister, hed done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in Tylers fender if he hadnt acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around in answerless circles.There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when Id screamed out in terror at the werewolfs lunge, it wasnt fear for the wolf that brought the cry of no to my lips. It was fear that he would be h outgrowthed even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him.And I knew in that I had my answer. I didnt know if there ever was a choice, really. I was already in too deep. Now that I knew if I knew I could do nothing about my frightening secret. Because when I thought of him, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetized force of his personality, I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now. Even if but I couldnt think it. Not here, alone in the darkening forest. Not while the rain made it dim as twilight under the canopy and pattered like footsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quickly from my place of concealment, worried that somehow the path would have disappeared with the rain.But it was there, safe and clear, winding its way out of the dripping green maze. I followed it hastily, my hood pulled close around my face, becoming surprised, as I nearly ran through the trees, at how far I had come. I started to wonder if I was heading out at all, or following the path farther into the confines of the forest. Before I could get too panicky, tho ugh, I began to glimpse some open spaces through the webbed branches. And then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I was free, Charlies lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising perfervidheartedness and dry socks.It was just noon when I got back inside. I went upstairs and got dressed for the day, jeans and a t-shirt, since I was staying indoors. It didnt take too much effort to concentrate on my task for the day, a newspaper publisher on Macbeth that was due Wednesday. I settled into outlining a rough draft contentedly, more serene than Id felt since well, since atomic number 90 afternoon, if I was being honest.That had always been my way, though. Making finiss was the painful part for me, the part I agonized over. But once the decision was made, I simply followed through usually with relief that the choice was made. Sometimes the relief was tainted by despair, like my decision to come to Forks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives.This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy.And so the day was quiet, productive I finished my paper before eight. Charlie came home with a large catch, and I made a mental note to pick up a book of recipes for fish while I was in Seattle next week. The chills that flashed up my spurring whenever I thought of that trip were no different than the ones Id felt before Id taken my walk with Jacob Black. They should be different, I thought. I should be afraid I knew I should be, but I couldnt feel the right kind of fear.I slept dreamlessly that night, exhausted from beginning my day so early, and sleeping so poorly the night before. I woke, for the second time since arriving in Forks, to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. I skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and those there were just soft little white puffs that couldnt possibly be carrying any rain. I opened the window surprised when it opened silently, without sticking, not having opened it in who knows how many years and sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly windy at all. My blood was electric in my veins. Charlie was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs, and he picked up on my mood immediately.Nice day out, he commented.Yes, I agreed with a grin.He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Charlie smiled, it was easier to see why he and my mother had jumped too quickly into an early marriage. Most of the young romantic hed been in those days had faded before Id known him, as the crisp brown hair the same color, if not the same texture, as mine had dwindled, slowly revealing more and more of the shiny skin of his forehead. But when he smiled I could see a little of the man who had run away with Ren?e when she was just two years older than I was now.I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Charlie c alled out a goodbye, and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house. I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my rain jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the brightest light Id seen in months.By dint of much elbow grease, I was able to get both windows in the truck almost completely rolled down. I was one of the first ones to school I hadnt even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside. I parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket, bright to have a use for it. My homework was done the product of a slow social career but there were a few Trig problems I wasnt sure I had right. I took out my book industriously, but halfway through rechecking the first problem I was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. I sketched inattentively along the margins of my homework. After a few transactions, I suddenly recognise Id drawn five pairs of dark eyes staring out of the page at me. I rub them out with the eraser.Bella I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike.I looked around to realize that the school had father populated while Id been sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldnt be over sixty. Mike was coming toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving.Hey, Mike, I called, waving back, unable to be halfhearted on a morning like this.He came to sit by me, the tidy spikes of his hair shining golden in the light, his grin stretching across his face. He was so delighted to see me, I couldnt help but feel gratified.I never sight before your hair has red in it, he commented, maculation between his fingers a strand that was pother in the light breeze.Only in the sun.I became just a little uncomfortable as he tucked the lock behind my ear.Great day, isnt it?My kind of day, I agreed.What did you do yesterday? His tone was just a bit too proprietary.I mostly worked on my essay. I didnt add that I was finished with it no need to sound smug.He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. Oh yeah thats due Thursday, right?Um, Wednesday, I think.Wednesday? He frowned. Thats not good What are you writing yours on?Whether Shakespeares treatment of the feminine characters is misogynistic.He stared at me like Id just spoken in pig Latin.I guess Ill have to get to work on that tonight, he said, deflated. I was going to ask if you wanted to go out.Oh. I was taken off guard. Why couldnt I ever have a pleasant conversation with Mike anymore without it getting awkward?Well, we could go to dinner or something and I could work on it later. He smiled at me hopefully.Mike I hated being put on the spot. I dont think that would be the best idea.His face fell. Why? he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edward, wondering if thats where his thoughts were as w ell.I think and if you ever repeat what Im saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death, I threatened, but I think that would hurt Jessicas feelings.He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in that direction at all. Jessica?Really, Mike, are you blind?Oh, he exhaled clearly dazed. I took advantage of that to make my escape.Its time for class, and I cant be late again. I gathered my books up and stuffed them in my bag.We walked in silence to building three, and his expression wasdistracted. I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in were leading him in the right direction.When I saw Jessica in Trig, she was glinting with enthusiasm. She, Angela, and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress shopping for the dance, and she wanted me to come, too, even though I didnt need one. I was indecisive. It would be nice to get out of town with some girlfriends, but Lauren would be there. And who knew what I could be doing tonight But that was definitely the wrong path t o let my mind wander down. Of course I was happy about the sunlight. But that wasnt completely responsible for the euphoric mood I was in, not even close.So I gave her a maybe, telling her Id have to talk with Charlie first.She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish, continuing as if without an interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late, and we were on our way to lunch. I was far too lost in my own frenzy of outlook to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullens to compare them with the new suspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the threshold of the cafeteria, I felt the first true tingle of fear slither down my spine and settle in my persist. Would they be able to know what I was thinking? And then a different feeling jolted through me would Edward be delay to sit with me again?As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullens table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was exonerate. With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled Spanish had made us late but there was no household of Edward or any of his family. Desolation hit me with crippling strength.I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore.We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided the empty chair next to Mike in favor of one by Angela. I vaguely noticed that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face lit up in response.Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which I answered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery. She, too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping at anything to distract myself.I realized Id been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment.The rest of the day passed slowl y, dismally. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didnt finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class.I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to pout and mope before I went out tonight with Jessica and company. But right after I walked in the door of Charlies house, Jessica called to cancel our plans. I tried to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner I really was relieved that he finally seemed to be catching on but my enthusiasm sounded false in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night.Which left me with little in the way of distractions. I had fish marinating for dinner, with a salad and bread left over from the night before, so there was nothing to do there. I spen t a focused half hour on homework, but then I was through with that, too. I checked my e-mail, reading the backlog of letter from my mother, getting snippier as they progressed to the present. I sighed and typed a quick response.Mom,Sorry. Ive been out. I went to the beach with some friends. And I had to economize a paper.My excuses were fairly pathetic, so I gave up on that.Its sunny outside today I know, Im shocked, too so Im going to go outside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can. I love you,Bella.I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a small collection of books that came with me to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Jane Austen. I selected that one and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.Outside in Charlies small, square yard, I folded the quilt in half and laid it out of the die of the trees shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay on my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, flipping through the different novels in the book, trying to decide which would betroth my mind the most thoroughly. My favorites were Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. Id read the first most recently, so I started into Sense and Sensibility, only to remember after I began three that the hero of the story happened to be named Edward. Angrily, I turned to Mansfield Park, but the hero of that piece was named Edmund, and that was just too close. Werent there any other names available in the late eighteenth century? I snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto my back. I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed my eyes. I would think of nothing but the tenderness on my skin, I told myself severely. The breeze was still light, but it blew tendrils of my hair around my face, and that tickled a bit. I pulled all my hair over my head, letting it fan out on the quilt above me, and focused again on the heat that touched my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, my neck, soaked through my light shirtThe next thing I was conscious of was the sound of Charlies cruiser turning onto the bricks of the driveway. I sat up in surprise, realizing the light was gone, behind the trees, and I had fallen asleep. I looked around, muddled, with the sudden feeling that I wasnt alone.Charlie? I asked. But I could hear his door slamming in front of the house.I jumped up, foolishly edgy, gathering the now-damp quilt and my book. I ran inside to get some oil heating on the stove, realizing that dinner would be late. Charlie was hanging up his gun pat and stepping out of his boots when I came in.Sorry, Dad, dinners not ready yet I fell asleep outside. I suppressed a yawn.Dont worry about it, he said. I wanted to catch the score on the game, anyway.I watched TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do. There wasnt anything on I wanted to watch, but he knew I didnt like baseball, so he turned it to some mindless sitcom that neither of us enjoyed. He seemed happy, though, to be doing something together. And it felt good, despite my depression, to make him happy.Dad, I said during a commercial, Jessica and Angela are going to look at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wantedme to help them choose do you mind if I go with them?Jessica Stanley? he asked.And Angela Weber. I sighed as I gave him the details.He was confused. But youre not going to the dance, right?No, Dad, but Im helping them find dresses you know, giving them constructive criticism. I wouldnt have to explain this to a woman.Well, okay. He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with the girlie stuff. Its a school night, though.Well leave right after school, so we can get back early. Youll be okay for dinner, right?Bells, I fed myself for cardinal years before you got here, he reminded me.I dont know how you su rvived, I muttered, then added more clearly, Ill leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay? Right on top.It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renew hope that I grimly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blue V-neck blouse something Id worn in the dead of winter in Phoenix.I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make it to class. With a sinking heart, I circled the full lot looking for a space, while also searching for the silver Volvo that was clearly not there. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless, but subdued, before the final bell.It was the same as yesterday I just couldnt keep little sprouts of hope from budding in my mind, only to have them squashed painfully as I searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table.The Port Angeles scheme was back on again for tonight and made all the more attractive by the fact that Lauren had other obligations. I was anxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder, hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. I vowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight and not spoil Angelas or Jessicas enjoyment in the dress hunting. Maybe I could do a little clothes shopping as well. I refused to think that I might be shopping alone in Seattle this weekend, no longer interested in the earlier arrangement. Surely he wouldnt cancel without at least telling me.After school, Jessica followed me home in her old white Mercury so that I could coldcock my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when I was inside, feeling a slight deck up of excitement as I contemplated getting out of Forks. I left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining again where to find dinner, switched my scruffy wallet from my school bag to a purse I rarely used, and ran out to join Jessica. We went to Angelas house next, and she was waiting for us. My excitement inc reased exponentially as we actually pack out of the town limits.